Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Old Irish Proverb

"May God give you. . . For every storm a rainbow, for every tear a smile, for every care a promise and a blessing in each trial. For every problem life sends, a faithful friend to share, for every sigh a sweet song and an answer for each prayer."

"For every storm a rainbow. . . " this has definitely been the summer of storms in the Puckett family. From Grandma's heart catherization in May to Dad being admitted for WAY too low blood sugar (53 when he's a diabetic) and then to Mom, I feel as if I have been in hospitals more this summer than my ENTIRE life. Oddly enough, Mom's stormy summer started with a hiccup. Seriously, a insignificant hiccup started the storm to end all storms, so to speak. . .
     Mom was at her doctor appointment when she had the audacity to hiccup. The doctor heard her and decided he needed to take another look. That simple look sent her to an Endocrinologist to investigate her thyroid. The scans from the Endocrinologist showed a goiter—the odd thing was on top of her goiter were nodules and the largest one was over 5 cm in diameter. (Evidently, that's a bad thing) So, that meant Mom had to go for a Fine Needle Biopsy to make sure it wasn't cancerous. (Interestingly enough, we have since learned that fine needle biopsies are basically POINTLESS in determining the type of Thyroid Cancer Mom ended up having) the biopsy told us that she was CANCER FREE. It lied. Seeing the biopsy coming back clean, we all breathed a sigh of relief and scheduled mom's surgery to remove the nodules. Then on surgery day, the doctor canceled her surgery because her PTT levels were to high and he was afraid her blood wouldn't clot properly after surgery. (According to Dr. C, the throat has a tendency to bleed a lot when you cut into it. . . good to know.) So then we had to deal with mom having to go to a hematologist. The results of her blood tests came back and kind of confused us even more. Lupus Anticoagulant Syndrome—not Lupus, but some weird thing that causes your blood to appear to be too thin on tests, but in actuality it's too thick and requires blood thinners to regulate. So, the rescheduled the surgery after the hematologist cleared her and Dr. C removed the left half of her thyroid and the isthmus. After her half-thyroidectomy, Dr. C came out, told us it went well and that she looked CANCER FREE.

     So, thinking that we made it through another medical drama, we started to relax. Then mom goes for her post op appointment to check on her progress (guess what, her neck started swelling pretty bad after having her thyroid removed) and Dr. C breaks the news that Mom does in fact have thyroid Cancer. The type of Thyroid Cancer she has is called Follicular Thyroid Cancer with the Hurthle Cell variant. Then we learned that the Fine Needle Aspiration Biopsy she received way back on June 9th is pointless in determining the FTC with HCV because that particular cancer CANNOT be determined by a FNAB. The particular cancer she has can only be determined when part of the thyroid is removed and then dissected. Grrr. So within moments we became a cancer family. It's still hard to acknowledge. I mean my brain knows and acknowledges it, but my heart and emotions want nothing to do with it. . .

     I have to acknowledge that while this summer has been 1 COLOSSIAL storm, there have been a few rainbows as well—coaching my group of teenagers through BOB this summer and letting them surprise me, and my adorable Kindergarten and 1st graders at church who have kept me laughing.

"For Every Tear a Smile." This has really been a summer of tears—happy, sad, stressed and ANGRY, but a summer full of tears. Thankfully, it's been a summer full of laughter as well. Most laughs have come from the children mentioned above, but reruns of Glee, listening to random music, funny stories and have helped.

"For every care a promise and a blessing in each trial" I have to trust in God's promise to be with my family through this crazy time in our lives. I have to have faith that God knows what's best for my family. One "blessing" in this odd time is that the Cancer was actually discovered. Who knows how much worse it could have been or become had it not been found NOW.

"For every problem life sends, a faithful friend to share. . ." I know good and well that I would not have made it through this summer without my friends. My friends have been an amazing rock for me. They have been there for my ups and downs and talked me out of a few panic attacks. I don't know how to express how grateful I am for them.

"For every sigh, a sweet song. . ." Music has kept me afloat these last few weeks. On a normal basis, I have a song for almost anything, but I feel it has been increased these past couple of months. I almost believe my iPod is psychic. It tends to play exactly what I've been feeling, or songs that I need to hear to pick my mood back up. Also certain devotional songs have invaded my mind and bring a peacefulness to me that I know comes from ABOVE.

". . . and an answer for every prayer." Even though some of my prayers haven't been answered EXACTLY the way I wish for them to be (i.e. Mom being Cancer free) God has answered my prayers. This summer has definitely been a reaffirmation of God's will and power. I am also learning the meaning of NOT YET. The incredibly impatient human side of me wants Mom to be cured RIGHT NOW. I don't want to have to WAIT, but God is showing me how to be patient because this isn't something that will just disappear. It has to follow a process and I have to trust in HIS timing. Not my own.

This summer has been a crazy rollercoaster, but I know that God has been there every step of the way. I do know that I will be really excited to see this summer end. :

Sadly, this summer appears to not realize it ended. Even though the wearther is beginning to turn colder, my mother's medical issues have not gone away. My mother is still battling her cancer and trying to kill the rest of her thyroid with Radiation, and yesterday she twisted her hip and we had to take her to the hospital. The doctors did x-rays and didn't see a break, however, there was something "suspicious" in the x-ray so they had to keep her overnight.

With all this going on with my mom, my reading schedule has fallen behind at a CRITICAL rate. Hopefully soon I will be able to be back on track, but it may take awhile. So I am officially calling a hiatus from the blogosphere and hope to return in the New Year (if not Christmas time.)